«
»
Monday, April 12, 2010
Paranoia @ 7:12 AM

I don't seem to understand myself. Waking up at weird hours everyday,sleeping at ridiculous hours late at night.
Always being stressed about something very light. Always having to scold someone unnecessarily.
I used to be very happy. VERY FUCKIN' HAPPY.
Why am i so freaking weird nowadays?
I used to be so happy last year. Yes,i was pleased and content and satisfied and all of that shit.
But 2010 seems to really suck for me. I feel so different. I was really happy before. I don't feel so happy now.
In fact,i feel fucking miserable. I feel fucked up. I don't deserve all of this bullshit. I deserve the best in life.
I know that i do. Because so many things has happened to me. BAD THINGS. God,i know you're not THAT unfair to me.
I know these bad things that happened are signs for me to have a good life in the future right?
Or is it for me to live in misery forever?
No,i have not lost faith in god. I still believe in you. Please help me have the want to pray for you, God.
I don't like the way i am now. I need to change,really. I need to change EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN THING.
I need to smile often. I need to be happy,for myself and only for myself. No,i am not naive.
I am just an intellectual who has issues.
No,i am not normal. No,i am not typical. I am soooooooooo different than all of you motherfuckers.
Bye.